Ode to...

Pinterest?  What's that? You accept this mysterious invitation.  You log into this "Pinterest."  Pin it? Pin what?  I don't get it?!  Oh, I add this to my toolbar. Okay, now what?  Hmm, I still don't get it.  This is stupid.  This is almost as stupid as twitter.

You forget about it for a while.  You log onto facebook, "Pinterest is so addictive!!!  Agh!"  "I was up until 4am!!  No thanks to Pinterest!"  "I made these awesome brownies from a recipe I found on Pinterest.  Soooo good!"  "My husband thinks I was up with the kids all night *wink wink!"  You log into your email "Ashley is now following your pins" "Sara is now following your pins"  "Jessica is now following your pins."  You feel so confused.  You didn't pin anything.

Well, maybe I am just missing something with this Pinterest thing.  You log back into Pinterest.  What happens when I click this.  Whoa!  What's all this?  I LIKE that. repin  Oh, I could totally do that!  repin  I wonder if my husband would build this...  repin  I LOVE that outfit!  repin  That sounds so good right now!  repin  That is just gorgeous  repin  .... 1 hour later I totally want that done to my hair. repin  Oh my gosh!  So funny!  repin  That is an awesome idea!  repin ... 2 hours later...

"Mommy, will you tie this on my doll?"

"Can't you see Mommy's busy?"  

"Busy with what?"

"It's called pinning.  It's very important."  You tie the cape onto the doll.  "Now, go play.  Mommy loves you!"

Whoa, she got that clean with that?  repin  What a cute party favor idea!  repin  I totally have those ingredients right now.  repin  Oh, that totally makes me want a sewing machine.  repin ... 3 hours later...

"Mommy!  The baby stinks!"

"Are you sure?  I don't smell him."  Child drags baby over.  He stinks.  You change baby.  

"Mommy, I'm hungry!  When's lunch?"

"It's not for a while.  Now go play."

"My tummy is STARVING!"  

You look at the clock.  It's 1:45pm.  Whoa!  That late already? "You're right, let's feed you guys."

You are eating lunch while pinning.  Curtain rods and fabric for a book holder? Genius!  repin... Phone rings.  It's the spousal unit. 

"Hey honey!  How's your day going?"

Homemade Butterfinger?  Awesome!  repin "Oh... wha?...My day? Oh it's great."  Old toolbox makes what?  repin

"Are you okay?"

Love that room!!  repin

"Honey?  Are you there?"

Vinegar and dish soap?  repin  "Uhhhhh, yeeah.  I'm here.  What's up?"

"Nothing really.  Is this a bad time?"

"How are you with a table saw?"

"Table saw?  I don't know, I haven't used one in a while. Why?"

"But you have used one, right?"

"Uh, yeah.  Why are you asking me this?"

"Oh, just some projects I need you to do this weekend."  He is talking so much right now!  Doesn't he understand?  "Well honey.  I'm right in the middle of something REALLY important right now, so...I'll see you when you get home.  Love you!  Bye." click

Brie on tacos.  repin  Oh, I love Ireland!  repin  I have really good taste!  Everyone is totally repinning my stuff!  Oh, hair bows!   repin  I am more popular here than I EVER was in highschool!  ...5 hours later..

"Hey Mommy!  We're home!"

"Hey guys.  Go get your homework done."

"Mommy, I need you to sign this."

"Honey, I'm really busy right now.  Can't this wait?"

"I guess."

Mmmm chocolate cake.  repin  Dream kitchen right there!  repin  No carb pizza?!  No way!  repin  That was such an awesome book.  repin  ...6 hours later...

"Hey honey!  How was your day?"  The spousal unit is home.  You quickly close your laptop.

"A little crazy."  You try to smooth your hair down.  You suddenly realize you didn't get dressed today.  You husband looks around the house, which is a DISASTER.  

"I see that.  When did he get changed last?"  

"I don't know, like an hour ago?"

"Are you sure?  He is totally leaking."

"Well, he drank a TON of juice."

"What's for dinner?"  Oh crap!  Dinner.  I didn't even think about that.

"Well, actually since today was SO crazy, I just thought I would do ramen or something like that.  I just didn't even have a chance to think about it.  So crazy today, yeah."

"Yeah you said that."  Oh no!  I think he's onto me!

"You know, kids, crazy crazy kids."  You start boiling water.  You throw in the ramen.  You sit at the table and discreetly open the laptop.  Coast is clear.  Aw!  He changed the baby.  He's cleaning the living room?  

You refresh your page.  Oh my gosh.  I've missed a lot of pins.  S'mores bars? Mmm.  repin  Cute shoes. repin

"I'm sorry you had such a crazy day.  I guess I didn't realize the kids were so difficult today."

Yet another cute outfit!  repin  You never know if I'll need that.  repin  That's a good idea for the kids to do.  repin

"Honey?  What's Pinterest?"

Crap!!!

An Introduction

When I was a kid I thoroughly enjoyed writing.  My teachers loved it and encouraged it, as well as my mom.  As I got older I sort of put it to the wayside.  A few years into my marriage and having kids I started up a family blog, to keep all of the out-of-staters(yes, I know "staters" isn't a word) up-to-date.   I would mostly write about what was going on in my family but every once in a while I would type up something just for pure entertainment.  I would get compliments from family and friends and they would encourage me to write more little lovelies.  I live to entertain(after taking care of my family of course) and I have always been striving to make those around me laugh.  I hope I can do that for you here.  Now that I am made a my boring and cheesy introduction, scroll down and check out some oldies while I compile some newbies for the tasting!

A Questionable Show

*Another little gem I wrote a while back.

*disclaimer: This is totally a joke and not meant to be taken seriously.  If you want to take it seriously, then be my guest!

We as parents often turn on preschool shows for our children to entertain them. We don't always think of the content because it is specifically for preschoolers and there is nothing questionable about the content. When we sit down and watch some of these shows with our children we realize how incredibly weird and creepy some of these shows are. I used to think The Wiggles was a creepy show, but it grew on me, mostly because of the appreciation my children had for it.Dora and Diego are incredibly annoying, but again, the kids are cute when they watch it, so I give in.Then we get a little fun with a dash of "unique" with the Backyardigans. Still not so bad.Many people may hate Yo Gabba Gabba or think it is a little too off the wall for them, but that grew on me as well. Dance DJ Lance, Dance!!

Anyway, we all know about how weird and annoying Barney was when we were younger, watching our younger siblings sit through that torturing song.Then we are babysitting and we learn of the frighteningly disturbing show the Teletubbies. You saw that and thought, "Dang, it is always time for tubbie bye bye."This show goes along the same creep factor lines as the Doodlebops on Playhouse Disney for me. I get the willies from that one.We may not like these shows, but they are clean shows and have nothing that you need to worry about your child seeing. There is one show that, although the content is clean, is a bad influence on children. This show tricks you with its cute storylines and soothing music. How could it possibly be bad? This show is...Little Bear.Yes, that is the show, people. I never understood why that bear was always naked, yet his parents and grandparents were always fully clothed from head to toe. Why was it okay for Little Bear to be naked in the family picture? Why did all of the other bears have to put on coats and hats in the winter to go outside, but Little Bear is only in a scarf? Why are almost all of Little Bear's friends in the nude?I have the answer to these questions, my friends! This show is trying to ruin this generation! They are trying to teach them that nude is okay! There are situations in which it would be okay for Little Bear to be nude, such as: taking a bath, changing his underwear(which he obviously isn't wearing!), showering, etc... The situtaions in this show in which Little Bear is naked do not include what I have previously listed. I would understand if he wanted to go around shirtless in the summer when he's playing in the water, or sleeping in his underwear (which is doesn't ever wear!)at night, but he doesn't.

Why does this upset me? Well, my good people, it upsets me because it influences my children and yours to go around naked! Perhaps you think, "Well, my children aren't going around naked." Well, perhaps your children don't watch this show. Maybe there are some of you who think, "My child watches this and they are still not going around naked." I say to you, give it time, it will happen! If you really want to save your children you will not give it time and stop this insanity. My son, Liam, often enjoys being in the nude, just as this Little Bear. He wants to play naked, go outside naked, give naked hugs, shake his tushy. My little girl cries when I put on her diaper and her favorite word is "naked." Why? Because of Little Bear! Stop the insanity, people! Let us write to these people in Canada(where naked and nude are apparently all the fashion!) who make this show and tell them we will not watch Little Bear until he wears at least a pair of pants!!

Ah Yes!

*This is a little treasure I wrote while I was about 8mos. pregnant with my 4th child.  There have been a few changes since then, but the feelings are still there.  I hope you enjoy!

You wake up in the morning, there is a nice breeze outside. You're comfy, the kids are still quiet(quite possibly even sleeping still).  No one has called to nag you about something.  Life just seems wonderful. Right? Wrong! This is because suddenly you have a screaming two year-old telling you to let him out. Are you going to let him out? You have to think about it because if you move from this spot, all this wonderful beauty of life might just disappear. You will realize there are toys and crumbs on your bedroom floor and laundry baskets full of laundry that need putting away. You will have to stand up and feel that growing baby in your womb squish your bladder until you can barely hold it. You will have you walk into that hallway...the hallway with the...DIAPER PAIL! You will probably nearly kill yourself on a toy that you swear to yourself was not there moments ago. Then you will open that door... that door where the two year old is screaming and where the 3 year old is telling you he needs to go "pee." When you open that door you will see why you were hearing a bump or 20 in the night as you were trying to sleep without an anxiety attack from hearing those strange noises(because deep down you knew what was really going on, no monster, a child!). You will open the door and see what he spent his bedtime doing...expanding the chaos that has already ensued in your home. You continue to lay there thinking, despite the beeping of the contruction vehicles outside, this moment is beautiful.   You are untouchable, absolutely untouchable. No child is near you or can get near you, even your 1 year old, who thinks your bosoms are stairs that she can climb to a better place, is in her cage(crib) still. She is the quiet one. Perhaps the good child for now. She is patiently waiting for you to open her door. Yes, she is sweet and cute, but you are comfortable. Can you end this? Get your lazy pregnant self out of that bed and start your day? This day might not go well, especially since there is more chaos downstairs created by your loved ones.  There is a chance it could go well.  No, it won't. But the good thing is that you can look back to the moment you woke up and heard birds and a breeze(continue to ignore the planes, traffic, and construction you also heard) and think of how wonderful that was to wake up to. It could happen again, perhaps, perhaps not, but you can still think back on that time with fondness and remember all is not lost. You really do love this life. The one with the mess and the many children that seem to magically multiply everytime you blink. You love your children and your husband. You even love that they are so ridiculously close together in age that you have a 6-8 month time in between children when you are not pregnant. So you hardly even remember what being married and not pregnant is like. Life is still good. Just remember your morning of today. Everytime you feel stressed or anxious, go to that place in your mind, dwell upon that, feel it, you can always go there in your mind. Oh, and don't forget...the two year-old, yeah, he pooped, and so did the one year-old. So get out of bed, march to that door, after you've caught yourself from tripping over that toy, open that door saying to yourself, "I love you all! I love you all!" And grab a couple diapers and wipes and begin your day!!